Yeah, yeah

I am actually doing something worthwhile this week...  Painting my sons room.  But I thought you may like to see how filthy the shower was when we moved in...

My Laverne "L" is thanks to the magic eraser.  Ew.
More about this shower later.

Halloween Scare the Shit outta Me

So the new kids bathroom had a smallish mirror that was hung too high for little guy to see himself in.  Bad fend shui, and not safe because that little monkey was climbing up onto the counter twice a day so he could see himself brushing his teeth.

In a moment of sheer genius, I decided I would take the bathroom mirror and use it above the fireplace and use the one from the old house in the bathroom.  (It was just a tiny bit too large for on the mantle.) 
It's nice when things work out, isn't it?
Oh yeah.   (You better have fucking said that like the Kool Aid guy...)

The morning of Halloween at 4 am the mirror in the kids bathroom decided to commit suicide and jumped.

Nothing like loud crashing accompanied by shattering glass to wake a person up.  I even had earplugs in and it scared the shit out of me.  Then the kids had a hard time getting back to sleep. (Well, duh.  A huge adrenaline rush will do that to a person.)


Btw, did I tell you why it fell?

We had it hanging in the old house with those picture hanging strips and although I was surprised that it didn't fall off the wall, I decided that if it worked there, why wouldn't it work here?!

See those picture hanging strips still stuck to the wall?   yeah....

Maybe the fact that the paper backing was totally shredded after taking the mirror off the wall in the old house should have told me, "beware!"   I just kept saying fuck it.

This was a serious pain in the ass to clean up.  Every little fleck here is a piece of glass.  This is where my kids are most likely to walk barefoot.

There must have been a magical fountain of glass that shot up and out into the hallway.  I'm sure it was pretty, but what a pain in the ass to clean up.  Even being very cautious, I still had bloody hands when I was done. 

 

Oh - and my solution to the clearly unsafe condition of the hall bath so the kids would not go into it?

 

Gah! I am still annoyed with myself for breaking that mirror with my laziness. 

And just like anytime you cut corners, I spent at least three times as long cleaning up that fucking mirror than I would have if I had just removed the damn paper and stuck those strips right on the mirror and frame.  (See, my laziness STILL will not be tamped down!)

Why? Why so Fucking Difficult?

So - in an effort to make the laundry room even more functional, I've been organizing the cabinets and hanging hooks.
Yeah, totally boring.
But let me tell you about the fucking ironing board hook. 
So, the funny thing here is that I iron mayber once every 4 or 5 years.  Really.  I can't stand that shit.  What a goddamn waste of time, because....no iron shirts exist, people.  Why in the hell would I ever iron ever again?  Really.
So I have an iron and a board and of course I would like to keep them in the laundry room...  Makes sense right?

Well, I had them stashed behind the door, but every time I shut the door I worried that the board would tip and make a buttload of noise and wake the children.  And god knows, once the kids are asleep there is nothing I hate more than having to do the whole bedtime shit again.

So I decided to get a simple hook to hang it on the wall behind the door.  (No, most definitely not on the fucking door.  Do you want to hear that shit clanging around every time you open or close the door or brush against it.  FUCK NO!)

So, it's a fairly simple installation.  The directions sucked my ass, but big fucking deal - I can read engrish with the best of them.

First I decided the height to hang the hook and marked the holes.  Then I drilled for the anchors that were included with the hook. 

The directions said to use a drill bit that was the appropriate size.  This was my first inkling of trouble.  Seriously?  Most directions will have the drill bit size, as part of the idea of a wall anchor is a tight fit. 

So I went from small drill bit and trying to tap in the anchor.  When I looked at the anchors as well, I thought something was fishy.  They had these fins that stick out, but nothing that looked like it would grip the wall.  Plus, said fins make a hole in the wall as you tap them in.  Really.

So I finally got the holes drilled and the anchors tapped into place.  I hung the hook and started to attach it to the wall and into the anchors.  The first one went off without a hitch.  The second was a little trickier.
The third, the screw was all the way in and not gripping anything.  Spinning free.  What the fuck?  So I did what any normal person would do and said Fuck It! and moved on to the next.  Three out of four isn't bad, right?!

Guess what, motherfuckers?  The fourth and final anchor betrayed me and THAT screw was spinning into nothing as well.  SIGH.
And because I'm such a fucking genius, I just thought, well,  I'll just use longer screws.  Yeah, the first one just pushed the "anchor" into the wall cavity and the next one didn't work either.

And you already know what a good workman I am.  I was toast.  I had the power drill above my head for at least one minute total, and my arms weren't having it.  The top two anchors were solid - so what the fuck was I supposed to do, take them out and have to patch the goddamn wall to start all fucking over?  HELL NO.
Two out of four ain't bad.  I'm batting .500!  The ironing board is hanging and the iron is neatly on the hook.  If this motherfucker falls, it sure as shit isn't my fucking fault.  Seriously, the person who cheaped out on these one tenth of a cent anchors should have something heavy attached to the wall above their bed with said crap anchors!  They could have at least not included any anchors at all, so then I wouldn't have been lulled into a false sense of security with the crappiest anchors ever, designed by a person who clearly didn't know what the hell the fucking purpose of anchors are in the first place.  ASSHOLES!

And, if any of you readers see that there was something obvious that I should have known to get those anchors in correctly, just keep it to yourself, because if I ever see an anchor like that it's going straight in the trash and I'll use the ones I fucking understand that also tell me what size drill bit to use.