Pot Roast - Hell yes!!

Okay! If you look at the picture, you're probably all- gfy Leslie that pot roast looks good. And it was. Fuck yeah!

Here's the part that makes it perfect for gfy. I bought the roast at the grocery that day- it was on clearance. That afternoon I started to brown the outside. It was happily sizzling away and I was thinking it was going to be great.
Anybody who's ever made a pot roast knows that three extra ingredients are needed. Carrots, onions and celery. At least I knew this because I always make the joy of cooking recipe.
So back to delicious sizzling. I go to the fridge and what is missing?!? Carrots and onions. I totally brain farted and forgot to purchase them at the store. What. The. Fuck.
Thank god for onion soup mix. It was a decent pot roast. Btw, first time I EVER was able to not overcook it and end up with grey meat. I guess I just can't have it all - but still, missing two out of three of the trinity?!? See I am almost as good at cooking as I am at sewing.

Housewife Fail - who's an asshole?

So my dear husband is in school right now. He had a take home test that was due last night. I told him not to worry about loading the dishwasher and cleaning up the kitchen so he could focus on his work.
I was even nice enough to let him know that of course I would do it all for him - no worries.
Well, guess what people?!? I sat my fat ass on the couch and watched Tv all night and totally forgot that the kitchen wasn't done at all.
The worst part is that he finished his test and then was going to load up the dishwasher and he wasn't even mad.
( first of all- no, he doesn't have any brothers and he is all mine- paws off, ladies!!)
Ugh. I ended up doing the kitchen at ten o'clock at night- it was fucking disgusting. It made me feel like the most gifted housewife ever that I totally just sat on my ass while the kitchen festered and hubby worked.

No words are needed

When you come over six months from now and there is a sticky spot by my pantry, at least you will know why.

Fucking Piles of Shit

I like to sew. I am super crappy at it because I have no patience and I absolutely fucking can't stand ironing. Well, there are many times I find bargain pants for $10 or less with the legs made for a person who isn't walking around on the legs of a fourth grader. Or possibly for someone who knows how to wear high heels. So my plan is always to hem them- which I honestly don't crap up too bad.
The problem is some of these clothes have been waiting to be hemmed for two years! Jesus, can you imagine what Martha would say? Honestly, I'm pretty sure some of these things don't even fit anymore!