Well, I might as well post it...

This happened a while ago....  I wasn't really making shit when it happened, but I thought I would share anyways....

Yes, I backed into my husband's car with my car.  (Crunch!) I have to say, it takes talent to do that.  Real talent.  My daughter was in my car when I hit his car.  She was like, "Stop!  Stop!  Did you just hit Daddy's car?"  Ahem, I did.  Yes I did.  shiiiiit.
Do you think that Martha ever did anything so dumb?!?  I mean, I'm sure that she would purposefully ram her husband's car if she had wanted to when they were married, but I can't imagine her just bumping into it on accident. Ooopsie!
Now we have replaced this Accord with a new one, so I don't feel so bad for wrecking ole hubby's car; but still!  (I think I even kinda kept going after the initial bump, because I couldn't believe that I had hit anything...)  Enjoy!  I hope I have made you all feel less bad about any stupid ass shit that you may have done lately, because it's taken me since June to feel not like a complete asshole over this one!  (okay, I still feel pretty asshole-ish, but whatevs!)

SIGH.... Goddammit!

Well - I made a diaper changing kit for a good friend who is having her baby very very soon.  I made the lovely changing pad - Nice and soft with terry cloth.  Nice and big to protect delicate fannies from disgusting changing tables!  The case is designed to carry the changing pad and some diapers and wipes and cream, etc.  Parts of it I liked.  I liked the fabric choices I made.  The main body of the case turned out pretty well. 

The ribbon part was a little, well, let's just say sloppy. 

But what fucking killed me was how I didn't notice how crooked the inside part was until I was completely finished with it.  I even sewed it not one  but TWO FUCKING TIMES - and I didn't notice how it was completely out of whack until after removing it and then resewing it

grrrr,  goddammit!

I suppose this means that I should actually measure the fabric instead of just eyeballing it.  I did use a ruler and a grid though when I cut the fabric.  Ugh.  Whatever.  So annoying.  It looks like a drunk person cut it - and no -  I'm not that "Mad Men" to drink in the afternoon while the kids are napping... 

...And this is why it's called GFY Martha

Why oh why did I spend so much of my twenties leafing through Martha Stewart Living?!  I still look through those pages with longing and admiration...  But I've picked up an unintended critic... that I can't seem to shake.
So - we've been pretty busy lately - good busy, mostly.  We've had family parties to attend in Illinois and Kentucky.  We've been over at friends houses to have dinner and to swim.  Mostly fun fun fun stuff.  We are about to leave on a not totally unexpected but not so fun trip to Wisconsin.  So why is it that my inner Martha won't stop nagging me about the stupid housework while I try to get us set up for another trip?

I hate you inner Martha.  You are the worst kind of bitch.  I know that you care that the towels are all matching and pristine and hanging just so.  Why can't clean and hanging up be enough for you, inner Martha?

I know the carpet is disgusting, but quit bitching at me about it! Hopefully no one will be in the house while we are gone - and if someone is, I doubt they would be the type to judge me for not having vacuumed this week!

Martha, it will all get done sometime!  Sheesh - It's not like we're putting the house on the market the day we get back!

(BTW - you all would be surprised how difficult it is to find pictures of Martha where she isn't smiling...  I would have thought with her reputation that you could have found at least a few pretty quickly!)