Fucking Pinterest.

Pinterest.  What the hell, people?  Fucking pinterest - such a goddamn time suck and if I thought that Martha misled me and made my inner critic even worse.  GFY, Pinterest, GFY...
Honestly at least Pinterest has a pretty good sense of humor, but still.
I saw a recipe on there for a home made cleaning product.  I know that if you have EVER been on pinterest you will be deeply fucking shocked that there are cleaning recipes on there....

Anyhow.  We have kind of hard water here and I really clean the showers about once every two weeks. If you are here to judge, GFY. (The basement shower my husband uses - I've cleaned it two times...  He's been using that shower for at least a year.  He's a boy, he doesn't care and I don't ever use it, so I don't care.)

Anyways, the recipe is for a shower cleaner.  It calls for 1 cup vinegar heated until holy hell and 1 cup blue Dawn dish detergent.

Any veteran of these stupid ass home made cleaning products knows why Mr. Fucking Clean is still in business.  Half the time you use up all your damn vinegar and you either break your damn arm scrubbing or it just doesn't work or both.  If I wanted to use god damn elbow grease, I wouldn't be such a fan of chemistry.

That being said, I do freak out a little every time I clean the bathroom with Lime Away or similar and then everything has a weird chemical flavor for 36 hours.  Chemistry is good, chemistry burning my insides, well, I'm not such a big fan.

I thought I'd give this home made recipe a try.  And it worked!  It really fucking worked. 

Why the hell am I writing about this then?  This is a blog reserved strictly for failures....  Hmmm, can you spot the epic fail here?  Can you predict the two problems that this cheap and effective home made shower cleaner may have?

I am such a moron.  It wasn't until I had the entire shower sprayed down that it occurred to me that fucking Dawn suds and suds and suds and suds and suds and suds and when you think it will finally stop being bubbly, it fucking gives you the bird of suds and can take a fucking month to rinse off.  I thought, well shit, this is going to take a year to get off.  It did.

Next unexpected problem - vinegar inhalation.  Now, don't get me wrong, I would much rather inhale vinegar than phosphoric acid. (Well, wait a fucking minute.  Coke has phosphoric acid in it. Yes, the same shit that burns lime off my shower is also in my drink. Yes, yes, different concentrations, but still, that can't be good for you.  I wish there was a word that expressed someone just shaking their head no with their eyes closed with that feeling of being screwed seven ways til Sunday.  fuck.)

I wonder if there is a difference between inhaling acetic acid (vinegar) and phosphoric acid (lime away) or if my poor lungs look like the insides of rotten pumpkins either way.  Sigh.