Yucatan Shrimp -

On first glance this may look like a win.  Let me assure you, it is not.

 This is from someone else's website - but you can see why I'd like to make this...

We used to have a fancy dinner at home for Christmas Eve in years past - and for the past few years other plans made it so that wasn't possible.  Until this year!

Well, my family makes the most butter laden and rich Christmas Eve feast called "fish dinner."  It originated, I think, as an edict from the church to fast on Christmas Eve and have no red meat.  Well, if anybody could figure out how to make a fast night into a feast night, it would be us Italians.  (I've always said that I am one of the few people I know who can make a salad into something very very bad for you.)

Anyways - there was no way in hell I was going to make anything that was on the menu for fish dinner - which includes crablegs, lobster thermidore, fish, anchovy spaghetti, calamari and a dessert. (I seriously think I left something out.)  But I wanted something similar - so I chose to make Yucatan Shrimp.  This is a recipe from a place in Florida called Doc's and oh my freaking lord is it delicious!  I decided to make it using the following recipe.

Yucatan Shrimp

4 tablespoons unsalted butter

1 large clove garlic, minced  (maybe more?!)

Juice of two large limes

1 tablespoon Indonesian sambal (preferably sambal oelek, by Huy Fong, though sriracha will work as well)

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

1 pound large, fresh, shell-on shrimp

1 teaspoon jalapeño, seeded and chopped (optional)   (Use chiles instead)

2 tablespoons chopped cilantro.

1. In a small saucepan set over low heat, melt 1 tablespoon of butter. Add the garlic and cook, stirring for 2 minutes.

2. Add remaining 3 tablespoons butter to saucepan. When it melts, stir in the lime juice, chili sauce, salt and pepper. Turn off the heat and allow the sauce to rest.

3. Bring a large pot of well-salted water to a boil. Add the shrimp and cook for 2 minutes or until they are just firm and pink. Do not overcook. Drain into a colander and shake over the sink to remove excess moisture.

4. In a large bowl, toss the shrimp and chili sauce. Add jalapeño, if desired, sprinkle with cilantro and toss again.   Serve with crunchy French bread.  Serves 4, messily. Adapted from Greg Nelson at Doc Ford’s Sanibel Rum Bar and Grille, Sanibel Island, Fla. 

Well, well.  Seems simple enough.  I gathered my ingredients and after a last minute run to the store for cilantro - which I had accidentally bought parsley - I was all set.  I was even able to find the Sambal Oelek - which yes, I was impressed too!  I followed the recipe EXACTLY.

And it turned out beautiful for our fancy ass dinner.  Look at that!  I felt so proud of myself - which is normally a sign of impending disaster.  (yes, I had to make it super big, because it is so pretty!)

And yes.  There was a surprise lurking.  If you know me, you know I don't cook, and you also know that I NEVER cook seafood.  So I didn't clean the poop vein out of the shrimp.  Yep.  It was a
shrimp-poop-a-palooza.  Disgusting and ruined our dinner.  Trying to get all the shit out of the shrimp while eating them, yes, well it was too much for me as well.

                                                             site for pic
Fucking Gross. Next time, I will know because I am putting it in the god damned recipe to clean the fuckers for other people like me who need all the steps laid out for them.