I Swear, I was just Caulking

So I was doing over the kids bathroom.  From the rum raisin colored walls to the old ass fan, it just needed doing.  The vanity and tub and counter were all pretty and in great shape - an easy and cheap refresh!   A minor consideration was the need to recaulk.  It was moldy and gross, but an easy fix.   

Day one

So whatever, there's just a tiny corner of the mold.  So I ripped out the old caulk, and no big deal.   Then I went to caulk.  Serious problems ensued.  

First of all, we have a caulk drawer because we have so many tubes of caulk.  Caulk hoarding is ill advised for a lot of reasons, but the main one being that no matter what precautions you take the half used tube will NEVER be useable again.  It's like trying to save a tube of super glue.  

We decided to purchase, use and hoard small tubes of caulk.  The perfect plan!   Except you can't use a caulk gun so my hands were like the claws of a bird of prey after about 5 minutes.  Also, one doesn't realize the amount of caulk that gets squeezed back behind those joints.   So I was left with an empty tiny tube, claws for hands and a whole lot more real estate to cover.  Sigh.  

Day two

Then I remembered the caulk drawer.  Surely we had the big tubes in there and a big ass caulk gun....  SCORE!   

Well, yes.  All caulk tubes, though unopened, were completely useless.  Maybe the 2005 expiration should have told me.

Day three

Off to the hardware store.   Learning from past errors and wanting to avoid my hoarding tendencies, I bought ONE tube of the right kind of caulk.  I felt so smart.  

I got home and was anxious to get started.   Aaannnd, my brand new tube of caulk was in the same fucking state as all of the tubes in the caulk drawer.  Cursing ensued.  

Day four

Back to the hardware store.  I felt brave and only bought one tube of caulk.  This caulk was not completely dried out, so I was in business.

I need to mention here that when I embark on these home improvement projects I have special clothes that I wear.  Mostly they are clothes that I wore in previous projects and ruined.  So we are on day fucking four of fucking shit ass paint clothes while I am running errands and shuttling children.  And just as an aside, I do always talk about how presentation matters to the kids.  Do as I say and not as I do, goddammit!

I was so happy to have working caulk I went a little ape shit.   Caulk kept coming out of the caulk gun after I pulled it away.  Oh yes, there was a release thing that I had to push....   And clean off the tip of the caulk gun on my sweatshirt because I only have two hands, dammit!  I caulked the rim by the tub and dutifully followed advice to fill the tub with water so the caulk wouldn't crack when the tub was filled.  Yay!  I caulked the top of the shower by the wall as well and kept that caulk tube tip clean by occasionally wiping it on my paint pants.   Giddy up!   Progress, sweet progress!  I could cleanup the overflow later.  

I decided to move on to the counter top.  I had already ripped out the old caulk.  I was armed with my working caulk gun and got down to business.  It wasn't five minutes later that I was done!   Mercifully done.  I needed to clean up some gobs and do the whole wet finger smooth it down shit, but woo fucking hoo. After four days of frustration, I had caulked.   I stepped back to admire my work.  

Fucking shit.  One of the only nice things in the room and I goofed it all up.   DIY home improvement the gfy Martha way.